(Circa 913 B.C.) Father, I shall live by the wisdom you have handed down to me. Better yet, I shall integrate it with my own sagacious insight, and the prudence of my trusted council, that the nation of Israel may ever prosper and forever be united. Yes, greater than before. The man who walks alone is lonely. He who surrounds himself with friends will never be dismayed. Yes, friends of his own age and mindset. Not of generations past, who are dying and forgotten. Friends will be there for you at all times, always loyal and trustworthy. Listen to their advice and heed their discernment. Who can go wrong by relying on their counsel? They only serve to advance your own objectives. The old king commended loyalty. The new king commands blind obedience. The old king was presented with gifts. The new king demands to be showered with riches. The old king placed a yoke upon his people. The new king will crush his subjects under his thumb. The old king scourged with whips. The new king will whip with scorpions. The old king allowed singing and dancing in the workplace. The new king will allow singing and dancing in the workplace, as long as the singing and dancing are related to the task at hand. There are those who do not live by wisdom. We shall call them Gentiles. Their knowledge is as their uncircumcised loins, for it is capped by the foreskin of ignorance. There is nothing wrong with being second in command, except that subordinates will dislike you even more than the commander in chief. Maintaining a well-groomed beard should boost the collective confidence. Make a clear example of those who fall short of expectations or fail to follow established protocols. Letting people off the hook sets a precedence for disobedience, in which case only chaos and death will ensue. And no one likes to hear, "I told you so." Instead, just point and laugh sarcastically. When the attitudes of others defy common sense and fly in the face of sound reason, do not resort to a rage-fueled bout of profanity. Instead, calmly lower your head and observe a moment of silence as your respect for them passes away into the great beyond. Let morons be dead to you. Value diversity, but require everyone to dress the same to promote unity. Drink plenty of water. Studies from the Tigris-Euphrates Hydro Research Center in Honor of The Goddess Tefnut claim the average person should drink between 8 and 18 cups of clean water daily, while slaves should be allowed to drink up to 3 cups a day, whether it is bath water, irrigation runoff, or dirty toilet water. Their kidneys will filter out most of the impurities and their stomach will vomit out harmful bacteria. Remaining well hydrated maintains glistening skin, whereas dehydration leads to tongue seizures and dry-heaving of pores. When people of like mind work together, evil transpires. Group dissimilar coworkers, no matter how poorly they get along. Everyone will come out equally, even if it is on bottom. An obedient child avoids the rod of justice. He brings honor to his father's name and peace to his mother's breasts. He shall rejoice, while the brother of iniquity is castigated; for it is he who furrows his father's brow and burdens his mother's breasts, which are weighted down in sorrow and encumbered with distress. Her husband will not look upon her when she is under such strain. Therefore, ween the unruly child and throw him over the wall of the city, that wild dogs may adopt him, and the father may again cast an eye towards the bride of his youth. No one is above reproach, not even the king, but only a prophet would dare rebuke the king. Prophets are accustomed to being persecuted for being outspoken. Though they claim their words come from God, it is difficult to know whether or not they understood the message fully. Therefore, torment them until the message is clear. Make servants and hired workers feel useful and important by continuously requesting that they work after hours, on weekends, and holidays. If they resist, then strongly insist. Only force them with threat of punishment or loss of employment as a last resort. A worker who feels their services are indispensable is more reliable than one who toils begrudgingly. The former will thank you for the extra work, while the latter will mock you behind your back and intentionally over-starch your linens, making them stiff and rigid. Sandwich all criticism with a compliment. When you chastise someone, follow it with something positive, then complete it by reiterating the distasteful behavior you want changed. For example: "Batya, you stink." "There, there, no need to cry. I appreciate that you are sensitive about your faults." "Now go, and employ basic hygiene you filthy, wretched shebeast." The slave is subject to the master's whims. The master shall say to the slave, "Bring me a cup of wine," and the slave will dutifully obey. The master shall say to the slave, "Now bring me choice food," and the slave will retrieve without haste. The master shall say to the slave, "Prop up my feet with a pillow," and the slave will comply without complaint. The master shall say to the slave, "Now read me a story," to which the slave will immediately fall upon his master's sword, because he was never taught to read, for he is a slave. Reward desired behavior with a food pellet until the reward for desired behavior becomes the behavior in and of itself. If anyone complains about the quality of the food pellet, then whip them mercilessly. If that fails to cease the griping, then hand them over to medical students to be crudely dissected and incorrectly labeled. Maintain a young, energetic work force, which will surely inspire the quota of elderly and minority hires. Kittens are potentially fatal to one's health. Their saliva may cause leprosy to human skin and their dander can suffocate the largest of men. To be safe, keep them bound in a burlap sack under water. For those to whom kittens pose no threat, you will surely seal your fate by allowing them to exist inside your home and grow into cats, which spend their lives sleeping and plotting your demise. It is not enough that you tell servants to wash their hands after using the restroom, or demonstrate every so often how to properly wash hands, or even to provide mandatory annual in-service training on hand washing and its benefits. You must assign a bathroom buddy to each and every employee who will accompany one another to the lavatory and ensure hands are thoroughly washed and the appropriate verification forms are filled out and signed by all parties present. Be sure to wash hands after signing documents, before returning to work. There is no telling where that stylus has been. What binds us all together in the unity of the human race are unseen bacteria, mites, and the air we breathe; including farts, which bond with red blood cells after entering through tiny blood vessels in the nasal canal and lungs. Follow your dreams and work to make them come true, unless of course you dream about arriving late and naked to your final exams at an institution of higher learning without having studied, or of being chased by lions ridden by baboons wearing purple capes, or of mating with your sister. A smile is worth a thousand pardons. Always maintain a smile on your face. The average brain might be uneasy due to occasional creepiness, but you cannot argue with someone who is giving you a creepy smile. Greet one another with a kiss on the cheek. Once the formality has been obliged, then back off. For those who do not understand or respect personal boundaries, a punch in the nose is awaiting them just around the corner. If they were not standing so close, they would see it coming. The mantis said to the centipede, "Come, and I will teach you wisdom." The centipede followed and the mantis ate him. The moth saw this and inquired of the mantis, "How was the centipede to learn if the path he was to follow led to death?" The mantis replied, "Write down what you have seen, that future generations may learn from it." When the moth had written down the lesson, the mantis ate him too, then took the scroll and hid it away in a cave. One day a bird captured the mantis and flew it back to its nest. Before feeding it to its young, the mantis said to the bird, "I can show you where wisdom is hidden, if you spare my life." At this point in my father's bedtime story, I was always sound asleep. He probably wrote it down somewhere. To be continued...

No News is Good News Wednesday, January 21, 2026 Remember that time I attempted to locate and identify an objective news source? Neither do I. But there are some aggregate sites online or via smart phone apps which allow you to create your own collection of RSS news feeds, plus some which weigh news stories and their sources depending on which way they lean politically. If you recall, RSS is an acronym for an acronym within an acronym: RDF Site Summary (RDF is an acronym for Resource Description Framework); or just short for Really Simple Syndication, which is a web content syndication format to upload/push and download/pull data in readable text in summary or in full. Right. So, if you don't know how to build your own aggregator, then here are a few of them to consider: AllSides uses our Media Bias Ratings(TM) to provide a breadth of perspectives on the day's news, issues, and opinions — so you can decide. There's no such thing as unbiased news. With the information ecosystem being rewired at a rapid pace, we dedicate ourselves to trustworthy information by using an explicitly multipartisan, diverse team and providing the systems and technology to deliver information from a variety of different sources so people can think critically and act confidently. (Free with limited access and ads; $49-$199/year for paid membership and full access.) AllTop aggregates all of the top news and information in real time. Our editors have carefully crafted each topic with the best sources allowing you to see what's happening quickly and from trusted sources. The goal of AllTop is to give you the absolute best news sources for any topic! Our topics are carefully curated and constantly updated as we know the web moves fast so we try to as well. (Free.) Apple News+ Explore an incredibly diverse and wide range of global publications in just one app. Expert editors bring to light the most compelling, must-read articles in Top Stories, Spotlight and other collections. Vivid photography and animation, rich videos and immersive layouts bring each story to life in striking detail. And you can even download issues to read offline. ($12.99/month after one month free trial.) Feedly Take control of your news feed — A news reader to follow the news you care about, all in one place. (Free with 100 feeds; $6/month for Pro membership; $12/month Pro+; Enterprise subscription costs more.) Flipboard Flip through the best stories on thousands of topics, all curated by Flipboard editors and experts. From global news to industry insights and local happenings, it's your source for the stories that matter. (Free; $2.99/month for video news.) Google News is your source for breaking news headlines and personalized news stories based on your likes and interests — Comprehensive up-to-date news coverage, aggregated from sources all over the world by Google News. (Free for some content; subscription fee for various feeds through Subscribe with Google - average of $13/month.) Ground News is a platform that makes it easy to compare news sources, read between the lines of media bias and break free from algorithms. Every day we process nearly 60,000 news articles from over 50,000 different news sources. Articles from different outlets covering the same event are merged into a single story, making it possible to get multiple perspectives in one place. (7 day free trial; $9.99/year for Pro plan; $2.49/month Premium; $8.33/month Vantage.) Inoreader Build your own newsfeed — With Inoreader, information comes straight to you the minute it's available. Follow your favorite websites and creators, collect articles, and discover inspiring content from across the web. Filter out the noise and make the most of your time online. (Free for basic services including 150 feeds; $7.50-$9.99/month Pro; Custom available.) Media Bias / Fact Check (MBFC) is an independent website that has promoted awareness of media bias and misinformation by rating the bias, factual accuracy, and credibility of media sources, large and small. Media Bias/Fact Check relies on human evaluators to determine the bias of media sources and the level of overall factual reporting through a combination of objective measures and subjective analysis using our stated methodology. (Free with ads; $5/month; $50/year; $200 lifetime.) PressReader The best way to subscribe to newspapers and magazines online. Your PressReader Premium subscription gives you access to over 7,000 of the world's top publications on the device of your choice. From trending headlines to niche topics, we've got you covered with digital content that spans just about every interest, language, and region. No more paying multiple monthly fees for digital newspaper and magazine subscriptions. Get them all in one place with PressReader. (Free limited access; $29.99/month full access.) SmartNews With powerful algorithms that sift through vast amounts of global content and a simple, comfortable interface designed for smart devices, SmartNews delivers quality information to as many people as possible — so everyone has a better chance to stay informed, inspired, and empowered. (Free with ads; $4.99/month without ads.) Upstract Official successor of the infamous Web 2.0 phenomenon PopUrls. After building award-winning news aggregators for two decades, Upstract is the ultimate attempt in delivering the entire Internet on a single page. (Free basic plan with ads; Contact for Pro subscription fee.) THEWEBLIST.net A snapshot of what people are clicking on around the internet right now. A single page with the latest news, buzz and tech stories from some of the Internet's most popular websites. Essentially your newspaper for the digital age. (Free.)

Say No to Wonder Bread Monday, January 19, 2026 In what was to be his final speech on April 3, 1968, in Memphis, TN, Martin Luther King, Jr. advocated non-violent protest against unfair financial and commercial practices by boycotting certain products, refraining from shopping at various locations, and putting money into specific institutions where their treatment of employees and customers was fair and equitable. The impromptu speech was entitled "I've Been to the Mountaintop" and is available to read here and listen to here. He emphasized peaceful marches and going on strike in protest — not looting, pillaging, vandalism, harassment, interfering with justice, and storming into churches to demonstrate an incognizance of freedom. He said it with eloquence, composure, and poise in the face of adversity — not yelling incoherently in opposition to sound reason. He said it to inspire and motivate — not to incite or inflame. Nor was he pretentious, intentionally misleading, and altogether wrong. Just saying.

Elephants in Rooms Sunday, January 18, 2026 For all the hours I've spent researching online (i.e., Googling), I could've just watched YouTube videos of Elephants in Rooms with Ken LaCorte, also available at Buzzsprout and Spotify. Ken spent twenty years at Fox News and now hosts his own brand of journalism with short videos and podcasts in search of the truth, which may or may not favor any side of a political argument. What matters is understanding the issue, its history, and the facts surrounding it. In his own words, he "researches controversial topics and does his best to give them to you in a way that's as fair and evenhanded as he can." Here's an example of a topic that is well summarized, except that he failed to mention that the Jews are still God's chosen people, which is the number one reason everyone hates them.

Sermon of the Day Sunday, January 11, 2026 Heavy metal pop group Slipknot has a catchy little tune from yesteryear called "People = Shit" filled with toe-tapping, nihilistic fun for the whole misanthropic family with lyrics like, "People equal shit, people equal shit, people equal shit," and so on and so forth. For those with sensibilities to electric guitars and multiple drum sets, this version by Richard Cheese may be a bit more digestible. But you may be asking yourself, "So what? Who cares? Who is Richard Cheese?" Well, the Bible also has a snappy little ditty from antiquity called "People = Sheep" by the star of the Bible himself, gospel legend Jesus Christ (John 10:1-21). Now, whether you are in the camp that compares people to fertilizer or the camp where people are like dumb animals which make fertilizer, my point is... uuuuuuuuh, um, oh yeah, something about "cultural totalitarianism," in which people are led to ideological conformity through psychological and cultural means rather than overt government coercion, much like what is happening in our country today. First formulated in the 1960s by white negro existentialist Norman Mailer, cultural totalitarianism emphasizes social and psychological manipulation rather than outright state control, which inevitably leads to political authoritarianism. Through institutionalized education, mass media, consumerism, and orchestrated gaslighting, a society's history is redefined, its heritage is manipulated, and its values are forgotten if not shunned. From this, a herd mentality favoring socialized communalism has arisen to form a collective autocracy that opposes traditional independence at all costs. Intellectual thought has been sacrificed on the altar of progressive conformity where conservative principles were renounced by a new generation of neutered sheep under the unscrupulous and duplicitous guidance of liberal wolves. Logic and reason have been traded for an ideology of universal inclusiveness regardless of its suicidal impact. Like a parasite feeding upon its host, these anti-nationalist patriots thrive in a healthy environment of constitutional freedom wherein they are enabled to devour their own liberties by criticizing its success, ravaging its prosperity, and casting its pearls before swine. Simply put, the sheep and the wolves have laid down together and are rolling around in their own shit until they have become indistinguishable. Again, you may be asking yourself, "So what? Who cares? Does Richard Cheese do any other cover songs?" My point is... uuuuuuuuh, um, oh yeah, we are not in a sociopolitical battle for votes, rather, we are in a spiritual battle for the souls of lost sheep (Ephesians 6:10-18). Although you knew that already, didn't you? Shave and a haircut, two bits. Pictured: The original coat of arms of the Fabian Society, a socialist organization started in England in 1884, dedicated to the slow and imperceptive transformation of the British Empire into a socialist utopia wherein the common individual is a minimum-wage industrial-working hermaphrodite living on state-owned, rent-controlled land and subsisting on supplemental capitalist welfare with access to free vaccines, dentures, and spectacles.

Indiana 38 Alabama 3 Thursday, January 1, 2026 I'd like to welcome in the new year with a prayer: Dear Heavenly Father, in the name of your Son Jesus, please help me to be relatively objective and only slightly offensive. I ask that you lead people here who need to be here and smite the online trolls who work tirelessly from their parent's basement to subvert the truth. Amen. Now, looking ahead, there is a lot of evil out there in the guise of progressive, democratic, socialist liberalism which will need to be addressed. The U.S. teeters on the precipice of godless Marxism with the Islamic sword poking us in the rear end. While Democrats lead the charge to utter annihilation, Republicans watch from the front row and quietly tsk tsk so as not to be labeled xenophobic. There is too much at stake to remain silent. Our republic is under attack from without and from within. Our values and morales which have made us strong have been tarred, feathered, and run out of town on a rail. Our institutions have failed us: education, justice, immigration, government oversight, welfare, journalism, CFP.* But let us not be hasty and incoherent. Rather, let our conservative tongues be united in recuperation and not retaliation. Let those who profit upon fear be hanged publicly from the gallows of prudence and let those who fear global climate change turn and fear the Lord, who will unleash His own brand of ecological destruction upon the Earth in due time (Revelation 6-9). The end is nigh and, truth be told, things will get worse before they get better. However, they will only get better if we repent, which for most of us isn't written in prophecy. Pictured: White colonial liberal who has tarred and feathered American justice and placed it in a compromising position for the dark forces of collectivism. *College Football Playoff committee chose Alabama (10-3) over other schools with a better record because, hey, it's Alabama. They lost 38-3 against Indiana in the Rose Bowl.

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